Perfectly apt.

These days, certain songs seem to speak to my mood. And right now, Five For Fighting’s ‘Something about you’ is perfectly apt: 

I don’t know where to begin
I don’t know how to get out there to see you
I don’t know where to dig in
I don’t know how to get in there, to feel you

It’s been too long and I’m about to be in time for me
It’s been too long and I’m in time

Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that
Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that…

This perfectly describes my inexplicable attitude towards a man in my life at the moment. It is almost (though not quite) as dramatic as Romeo and Juliet; we have not reached the stage of star-crossed lovers as yet. There are many things (as u can see from my previous blog entries) that are yet to be settled, and some things have happened that would normally have made any sane girl run – and would have definitely made me run if it was another guy. So it is inexplicable that I am STILL around. I definitely don’t think that I am a sucker for punishment; hence there must be something about him that is making me stay. I am going to hold on to that, for now at least.

(Until and unless there is something that would make me run.)

The book cover

The nice smooth surface
belies your murky darkness
that skulks underneath.

Constrained.

It is not fair to expect me, to
swallow whole, what is not my doing.
I should not have to dig, to reveal
things that should be usually proffered.

Casting furtive glances frequently,
is not something I will partake of.
I do not think I should care who sees
a normal display of affection.

This paranoia belongs to you;
I want no place in its tentacles.
There should be no guilt in what we do,
and yet I am made to feel there is.

You may think that I may want this as you do,
you are mistaken in that belief.
Because I can’t keep running with you
when it is yourself that you run from.