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someone really has to explain to me something about electronic art.
i mean, i like art on a certain level; ask me to delve deeper and appreciate it on that level, i can’t. i’m sorry. it was like deconstructing the deconstructed. can’t do it. and don’t ask me to do it after a day at work.
i went to a university today, it was hosting the closing ceremony of an electronic art symposium. my friends were part of the uni and one of them was taking part in the symposium.
i was looking at the installation art, and trying hard to get it. and i think i was nearly getting it. but then came the performance by the artist, which seemed, to me, to be funny flashing images and squiggly lines on the ceiling that were supposed to be related to the guy’s movements and the guy was hooked up with wires to this machine that was making noises like the kind of noise you would get from microphone feedback.
i didn’t get it. and i still don’t.
(well, at least the consolation was that there was wine. and good food. actually i think i might have eaten too much. 
)
and yes i know i sound like a peon when it comes to this. but really, catch no ball la.
a heart serves a function that is vital to all of us. it pumps, bringing blood, oxygen, to every part of the body. it is what keeps us alive; it throbs under the skin, a rhythm of its own. it hums in the veins as it moves along.
the heart serves a different function too. it’s the symbol of love. i guess it means that when u are in love, you can feel it in every part of your being? that it becomes sthg that u depend on, like water, like air, to survive? that u can literally hold someone’s heart in your hands and feel all the power that comes along with holding that fragility in your palms.
that a heart can live on its own, take on its own life. that it can physically leap, and/or crash. that the heart can ache physcially.
my heart is trying to be independent of my body. it leapt this morning when i tried to surprise him by calling him 30 minutes into his birthday. and he was sleeping, and was brusque when he finally answered, asking me what time it was, and practically groaning when i told him, and after unsuccessful small talk, said he would speak to me later. and then the heart crashed.
in the subsequent phone call, it came to life again when we have a long conversation, asking about each other’sfamiles, their respective health. he says that after he hung up on the first call, he then asked himself if he was being a ’snob’ by telling me that he would speak to me later, and asking me to call him. and he apologised. and my heart sang a soft tune. and when i said i hope to see him soon, he said for sure i would be. he said it with affection, with conviction. and he seemed reluctant to get off the phone, but he knew i was in the process of getting ready for work. and the heart hummed happily, loudly.
i may have exaggerated the feelings i heard over a crackling phone line. i may have misread it all. but my heart is singing, it’s happy, it’s sated.
so let me revel in it for a while.
