GenieGrrl

Perfectly apt.

geniegrrl — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:12:27 +0000

These days, certain songs seem to speak to my mood. And right now, Five For Fighting’s ‘Something about you’ is perfectly apt:

I don’t know where to begin
I don’t know how to get out there to see you
I don’t know where to dig in
I don’t know how to get in there, to feel you

It’s been too long and I’m about to be in time for me
It’s been too long and I’m in time

Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that
Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that…

This perfectly describes my inexplicable attitude towards a man in my life at the moment. It is almost (though not quite) as dramatic as Romeo and Juliet; we have not reached the stage of star-crossed lovers as yet. There are many things (as u can see from my previous blog entries) that are yet to be settled, and some things have happened that would normally have made any sane girl run – and would have definitely made me run if it was another guy. So it is inexplicable that I am STILL around. I definitely don’t think that I am a sucker for punishment; hence there must be something about him that is making me stay. I am going to hold on to that, for now at least.

(Until and unless there is something that would make me run.)

The book cover

geniegrrl — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:32:30 +0000

The nice smooth surface
belies your murky darkness
that skulks underneath.

Constrained.

geniegrrl — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 13:15:03 +0000

It is not fair to expect me, to
swallow whole, what is not my doing.
I should not have to dig, to reveal
things that should be usually proffered.

Casting furtive glances frequently,
is not something I will partake of.
I do not think I should care who sees
a normal display of affection.

This paranoia belongs to you;
I want no place in its tentacles.
There should be no guilt in what we do,
and yet I am made to feel there is.

You may think that I may want this as you do,
you are mistaken in that belief.
Because I can’t keep running with you
when it is yourself that you run from.

Savoir faire (or, perhaps, ‘saver fare’).

geniegrrl — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 10:25:41 +0000

Excess baggage needs

to be checked before boarding

this flight of fancy you crave.

CNY: the season of plenty has arrived.

geniegrrl — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 15:50:23 +0000

Too much to eat, too many relatives, and too many questions. Welcome to the annual chaos that is CNY :P The eating has already started, with our steamboat reunion dinner, prefaced with the yu sheng salad. More eating to come tomorrow. (The best bit, of course, is the ang paos: little red packets filled with moolah ;-P)

I know I sound really cynical. And I *do* enjoy the gathering of relatives that u otherwise only see (this is the brutal truth here) at funerals and weddings BUT. But.

They will ask the inevitable Question: ‘Girl, u already XX years old. No bf ah?’ And now that I have caved in and joined a couple of dating websites, and have met a guy that does shift my boat (not rock it yet) slightly, I cannot put him in the same category as ‘BF’. Because he isn’t. And if I say I met someone, there will be questions, again, in excess (as per this season of plenty food and ang paos and drinks and relatives).

So I will just smile and succumb to questions and sympathies about my singlehood (for now, at least). Because the other thought – of having to deal with endless questions I may not have the answers to yet (not least the ‘where did u meet him’, which, if I gave the correct answer to, would make them recoil in horror ) is an ordeal that I should not inflict on myself, willingly.